Funny thing about my coming out of the closet is that it was nothing like what I had planed.
Day after day I thought how could I tell people That I was gay, many sleepless nights thinking about it, the right time to the right people... but it was nothing like that, not to the right person nor at the right time.
Wednesday, 7th of December 2011, after a poetry rehearsal, it was late, a friend of mine looked at me and asked me:" Are you gay?"
A million things just raced through my mind "how could you possibly know,what are you saying ,who told you???" but my mouth betrayed me, and I just spat a "yes", amazingly I did not felt a drop of shame, as a matter of fact I felt indeed very proud of my self!
That day my life toke a turn for the better, it fells like a million tone weight was lifted of my shoulders, I now feel more confident than ever before, I have my all life ahead of me but now the path just looks prettier.
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Monday, October 24, 2011
And now what?
God Hates fags... Does He really?
-The bible says that if a men lies with another man they should both be put to death.
But hey the same bible also says that if your son is disobedient he should also be killed.
We need to straight thing up!!... the bible was written over 2000 year ago and what this book expresses is the mentality of the people 2000 years ago, if we all kept thinking like that there would be no new achievements, no progress we would still live in 11 a.C., is this what we want? ... well let me clear something out I'm not trying to make anyone to change his/her mind about his/her beliefs, as a matter of fact I myself was a believer for quiet some time, and faith have it's good and bad side, well, I'm don't believe in god any more for two things I don't have enough to make me believe, and the christian faith gives a lot to be desired in terms of coherence and way of thinking. But hey it is just my opinion.
The church, bible an whatnot, have put me through a lot of suffering and self recrimination, it made me hate my self for being homosexual, I wanted to kill my self .Every minute was torture, no one should suffer so much pain, the idea of god and sine and eternal punishment was what made me think that I was a freak, a daemon, some kind of monster. If kept thinking like this I wouldn't be hear today, that is for sore, but one day I realized, this is not living, I deserve better, I found my escape through philosophy, through the true knowledge, and from then on I changed, I now know that I am a human bean like every other person and no one can judge me, I have free will, and no one can tell me what to think, only now I can be free.
-The bible says that if a men lies with another man they should both be put to death.
But hey the same bible also says that if your son is disobedient he should also be killed.
We need to straight thing up!!... the bible was written over 2000 year ago and what this book expresses is the mentality of the people 2000 years ago, if we all kept thinking like that there would be no new achievements, no progress we would still live in 11 a.C., is this what we want? ... well let me clear something out I'm not trying to make anyone to change his/her mind about his/her beliefs, as a matter of fact I myself was a believer for quiet some time, and faith have it's good and bad side, well, I'm don't believe in god any more for two things I don't have enough to make me believe, and the christian faith gives a lot to be desired in terms of coherence and way of thinking. But hey it is just my opinion.
The church, bible an whatnot, have put me through a lot of suffering and self recrimination, it made me hate my self for being homosexual, I wanted to kill my self .Every minute was torture, no one should suffer so much pain, the idea of god and sine and eternal punishment was what made me think that I was a freak, a daemon, some kind of monster. If kept thinking like this I wouldn't be hear today, that is for sore, but one day I realized, this is not living, I deserve better, I found my escape through philosophy, through the true knowledge, and from then on I changed, I now know that I am a human bean like every other person and no one can judge me, I have free will, and no one can tell me what to think, only now I can be free.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Home nightmare
Parents, what a nightmare, the people who raised and educated you, they are supposedly a good example for you... Well is a fact some times they fail their task, and it is sad when they do.
I don't know how I got throw 15 years of constant fear, my father is a alcoholic, for year I tried to make excuses for him, not anymore I can't take it any longer, fear is a constant in my house, he goes out in the morning before I am even awake, I don't see him until noon when he is already very drunk, the thing that I most fucking hate about him when he is drunk are really the conversations those long and painful conversations, although I'm not able to understand shit about what the hell he is saying I just have to listen because if I don't, well there is the risk of he never walk away, well but this is my father, my mother knows what happen if she steps in ... shouting and more shouting ... when the things don't get worst.
Sincerely I don't know why don't they split up, divorce, I don't know if it is pity, or shame, or what but this is masochism.
I don't know if I can't hold this for much longer, I seriously don't know, I don't wont to live a life of fear, I just want to get the hell out of here.
I don't know how I got throw 15 years of constant fear, my father is a alcoholic, for year I tried to make excuses for him, not anymore I can't take it any longer, fear is a constant in my house, he goes out in the morning before I am even awake, I don't see him until noon when he is already very drunk, the thing that I most fucking hate about him when he is drunk are really the conversations those long and painful conversations, although I'm not able to understand shit about what the hell he is saying I just have to listen because if I don't, well there is the risk of he never walk away, well but this is my father, my mother knows what happen if she steps in ... shouting and more shouting ... when the things don't get worst.
Sincerely I don't know why don't they split up, divorce, I don't know if it is pity, or shame, or what but this is masochism.
I don't know if I can't hold this for much longer, I seriously don't know, I don't wont to live a life of fear, I just want to get the hell out of here.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
God and the homosexuality (morality)
Hum... this is a very hard subject to discuss but lets give it a try.
The christian God have a very critical view of homosexuality, I'm an atheist but I was a believer and I have a big inside view of Christian church and let me tell you it is one closed mentality, and is very dogmatic and harmful when it comes to this point, the preach fear they preach evil and they preach the segregation for homosexuals.
All right this is their point of view, I don't agree but I'm not interested in change no one, but what I wont to do is expose some of the incoherence's that they preach:
1st- If we are all sons and daughters of god why should the homosexuals(among so many others) go to hell.
2nd- If we ar created by God similar to him why should we be so different from everybody else.
3rd- If we are creation of God why would we create us different and seiners.
4th-If God is only good and bless how can there be a hell.
5th-If God look out for his sons how so many suffering and pain exist.(don't come with the bs that God is MYSTERIOUS, the only thing that God does is to be adored, God sent Christ is real son to teach us about him, but when it comes to incoherence's God is MYSTERIOUS... ya right, I don't buy it )
So if you can't actually define God and his will, you better be happy while you can because you don't no if there is anything beyond this life.
The christian God have a very critical view of homosexuality, I'm an atheist but I was a believer and I have a big inside view of Christian church and let me tell you it is one closed mentality, and is very dogmatic and harmful when it comes to this point, the preach fear they preach evil and they preach the segregation for homosexuals.
All right this is their point of view, I don't agree but I'm not interested in change no one, but what I wont to do is expose some of the incoherence's that they preach:
1st- If we are all sons and daughters of god why should the homosexuals(among so many others) go to hell.
2nd- If we ar created by God similar to him why should we be so different from everybody else.
3rd- If we are creation of God why would we create us different and seiners.
4th-If God is only good and bless how can there be a hell.
5th-If God look out for his sons how so many suffering and pain exist.(don't come with the bs that God is MYSTERIOUS, the only thing that God does is to be adored, God sent Christ is real son to teach us about him, but when it comes to incoherence's God is MYSTERIOUS... ya right, I don't buy it )
So if you can't actually define God and his will, you better be happy while you can because you don't no if there is anything beyond this life.
Gays, homosexuals and Transsexuals
This is what really upsets me is the image that many people have of homosexual men and women, but especially men because men are seen as studs and a large portion of the society see homosexual males as less of a men, there is the stereotype that a gay man have female feelings and female gestures, that is absolutely not true. Although there are men that actually have effeminate gestures, that is nothing to be ashamed about, but it's not the norm among gays and many of them are not even gays but transsexuals.
But this distorted image of homosexuals was mainly advertised by the media, and it's up to each one of us to change this very point of view, this hurtful and shameful point of view.
Monday, September 12, 2011
The adoption
The adoption of kids buy homosexual men or woman it's a very controversial subject undeniably, and the controversy come from the fact that a large part of the society still see homosexual couples as unstable, promiscuous and irresponsible, for sure some of them are, but the truth is that many of the heterosexual couples are also unstable, promiscuous and irresponsible but the big difference is that many of those heterosexual couples are able to adopt.
The obligation of child support is to intensively evaluate the foster care families homo or heterosexual, what is not acceptable is stereotyping couples by their sexual orientation.
Many people argue that kids need a male and female image on their lives, that's way we don't allow single parents to raise their children.(make sense doesn't it???) I think that this argument is an insult to every single parent that have raised his sons or daughters on his own, And one more thing allowing gay couples to adopt would just give the opportunity of more children to have a family, so forbidding adoption by homosexual couples is not only ungrounded but also selfish.
Others say that we need children and if gay couples were allowed to marry soon the population will age and finally end. Who is able to conceive such a future????, by allowing gay couples to marry the number of gays will not increase ... being gay is not a choice.
Finally they say that gay couples only raise gay children, obviously the contrary is also true, heterosexual couples only raise heterosexual kids. (OK, I think the sarcasm expose fully my point of view.)
William G.
The obligation of child support is to intensively evaluate the foster care families homo or heterosexual, what is not acceptable is stereotyping couples by their sexual orientation.
Many people argue that kids need a male and female image on their lives, that's way we don't allow single parents to raise their children.(make sense doesn't it???) I think that this argument is an insult to every single parent that have raised his sons or daughters on his own, And one more thing allowing gay couples to adopt would just give the opportunity of more children to have a family, so forbidding adoption by homosexual couples is not only ungrounded but also selfish.
Others say that we need children and if gay couples were allowed to marry soon the population will age and finally end. Who is able to conceive such a future????, by allowing gay couples to marry the number of gays will not increase ... being gay is not a choice.
Finally they say that gay couples only raise gay children, obviously the contrary is also true, heterosexual couples only raise heterosexual kids. (OK, I think the sarcasm expose fully my point of view.)
William G.
My best Christmas
This is my idealistic version of the perfect Christmas:
The first thing that I would change would be the celebration it self, in other words erase it completely; I simply think that it is useless, I don´t see why people need to celebrate this holiday in such a materialistic way, society teach their cubs to expect receiving presents in this day, brought to them by some magical figure and this is all they know, family is also present but it is seen by the kids as a secondary part of this festivity, (this seems like excerpt of the «unabomber manifesto» but is much more peaceful point of view) for an atheist like me it's hard to understand why should I be forced to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ the son of God if I don't even believe in God himself ?! IT'S NONSENSE!
Many times when I ask people this question atheist or not, the only reason the give me is that it is a holiday celebrated by many generations before me, but this isn't even a valid argument if I kept doing every thing that my ancestors did I would be out there hunting witches and sorcerers and burning them in my fireplace, I thing You need to agree with me when I say that this is a complete stupidity.
I tried one thing this last Christmas, I chose to do not celebrate it at all, I just stood quiet in my room alone with the lights off, writing, looking out the window with the ocean as background... I was not only peaceful but it was a moment of introspection too, it made me realize how I would like to spend future holy days, and it is alone.
OK this was a bit radical, I don't discard the option of finding some one that I love, and then for sure I would not have any problem in sharing this moment with that person but it really need's to be my choice, until that day arrive I will be spending this day alone.
William G.
The first thing that I would change would be the celebration it self, in other words erase it completely; I simply think that it is useless, I don´t see why people need to celebrate this holiday in such a materialistic way, society teach their cubs to expect receiving presents in this day, brought to them by some magical figure and this is all they know, family is also present but it is seen by the kids as a secondary part of this festivity, (this seems like excerpt of the «unabomber manifesto» but is much more peaceful point of view) for an atheist like me it's hard to understand why should I be forced to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ the son of God if I don't even believe in God himself ?! IT'S NONSENSE!
Many times when I ask people this question atheist or not, the only reason the give me is that it is a holiday celebrated by many generations before me, but this isn't even a valid argument if I kept doing every thing that my ancestors did I would be out there hunting witches and sorcerers and burning them in my fireplace, I thing You need to agree with me when I say that this is a complete stupidity.
I tried one thing this last Christmas, I chose to do not celebrate it at all, I just stood quiet in my room alone with the lights off, writing, looking out the window with the ocean as background... I was not only peaceful but it was a moment of introspection too, it made me realize how I would like to spend future holy days, and it is alone.
OK this was a bit radical, I don't discard the option of finding some one that I love, and then for sure I would not have any problem in sharing this moment with that person but it really need's to be my choice, until that day arrive I will be spending this day alone.
William G.
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